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My heart returned home.

I remember the moment my heart started to beat correctly, the moment I felt my heart had a purpose of belonging. Twenty five years had past and I had never ever felt my heart feel the way it did.
The trials of life had backed me up in a corner, feeling completely alone and completely devastated. I was left to my own demons in a place I called home. Looking for a desperate need of survival, I felt a sudden urge to call out to God which resulted in crying out “help me”. While raising my hands in the air looking up, doing something I had never done before. I felt a need to put my head to the ground so I did. I remember speaking within my thoughts, just followed the feeling let it take the lead, something I was never comfortable with. I allowed my heart to lead, me to pray. And as I did, that I said the following words, ” oh God, if you’re there like everyone says you are please guide me”. I paused for a second where I can still remember I felt carefree, like as if I had an element of tranquillity around me, something I had never experienced before. I must have stayed in that position no longer then a few minutes. And as I got up I fell back to sleep, and you no what god did exactly that, when I had awoken I was guided Alhamdulillah. I had the urge to get to know my maker better, I knew from a single ask I felt different I knew he believed in me when I didn’t. So for the past twelve or so years I’ve been putting my head on the ground in the same position five times a day. I realised that from that moment the problem was me and nothing was going to change untill I changed that what was within myself, so I continued but I knew I couldn’t go it alone without God. I’ve survived the most testing of trials and the world has tried to knock me down but I still stand strong because they years that have past have proved, that there is nothing and will never be anything greater than God.
Alway and forever REMEMBER no one can play with your heart, that is for you, you own it. Remember that’s the one thing no one can control or imprison. So in order to make big changes you need to get inside of it, you need to declutter it. Start with the world, remove the greed the lust the anger the pride the jealousy the temptations and so forth. Leave it clean from marks and stains and amend the cuts and bruises so when it learns about God that’s all it will thrive on. Make God your strength make God your goal make God your purpose and you will grow,
God Willing.