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Twisted

How confusing is this, the ones that tell you to be happy, not to cry, to feel free, to be honest, and that you’re amazing, are probably the worst ones to cause you the most pain.
They tell you all the wonderful and beautiful words, but then, they hold you down, hurt you and play with your emotions, talk behind your back, then lie to you, and then make you feel insignificant, how twisted is that. There is a lot of good people out there, I’m speaking about the one you might know to be unfair.
Honestly tell me something how many have played this part in your life or lets be honest with our self, could we be the culprits?
For me this is something that was part of my living process, and I remember having panic attacks over it, it was ruling my life. It just didn’t make sense what others where saying and their actions said otherwise, yet I always trusted.
So many years of confusion and struggles, and punishing myself for others selfishness and bullying, I had to make a stand otherwise this was forever. I came to realise that things needed to change big time, otherwise allowing someone to play with my emotions and my life like that wasn’t healthy for me and others around me. I also realised by keeping quiet would be more my fault, as there is a reason God gave us a voice, and it would seem that I was kind of accepting of it, which was not the case. There was times I was scared to say anything I thought and sometimes made to feel I couldn’t say anything, without a war, this tired me out.
I’m natural a strong confidant woman and out spoken, to become  someone that was always afraid bothered me, and then just shriveled up and backed down to anything.
I would never encourage anyone to become that way I had reached the point of survival, it was dangerous for the mind. The truth is that not everyone knows what there doing wrong, so you really need to flag it up before it gets out of control. It will continue, and it could possibly be for a life time and it starts to feels like a prison sentence, trust me.
Many years of this went by and I also came to a conclusion in my head to make sense, of actions of others and to make it easy on my mind. I believe when we are born we are pure, and along the way we start getting a bit twisted, my imagination see a wet towel socked with wet chemicals Like poison, and I I’m trying to squeeze out the unwanted chemicals from it, with my hands, and then trying to purify it, and this is what unfair people seemed to me.
And as life processes we start getting untwisted, but only if there is the efforts to change. You have to absolutely believe that no one has the right to dictate to you nor treat you this way, and avoid giving  anyone the power over you. No matter what anyone says we are all equal and you have the right to protect you.

4 thoughts on “Twisted

  1. Your very true nehad.
    Keep smiling and loving people..as long as you are steadfast and strong in your deen and full of sincearity and love in your heart.Even if it looks like u have lost . You will be winning because God no’s your hearts ♡
    I just cant get enough nehad want more asap 😉 x

  2. Wow! I really wonder what you went through and what mind of thought and emotions came with this blog. Its amazing but sad at the same time to know someone your so dearly close to me can feel like this…

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